The Tear Ducts

I have come to the conclusion that it is ok if life is a blur because I don't need to see clearly if I am not leading.

May I always follow the One who knows.

A Little Prayer

Ambria decides in the middle of dinner tonight that she NEEDS to pray, right now, so she erupts in an impromptu prayer, folds her hands, closes her eyes, and quick looks around to see if everyone else is doing the same. (Out of respect for her and Jesus, we stop eating, and copy Ambria).

"Dear Jesa. Thant you fo Riah. Thant you fo daddeee, Thant you fo mama. Wuv you Jesa. Amen."

By this time, I have tears in my eyes and a huge smile on my face. Her soft voice and tender heart will melt mine every time.

Thank you, Lord for the prayers of the young child, so sweet and so real. May I have faith like that.

Sunday Night

It was a long weekend.
I am tired.
I have a headache.
I am stressed.
I am depressed.
I am knocked down but not destroyed.

The girls were fed and clothed today.
I consider that an accomplishment.
I consider that a good day.

Fragrant Candles Burning/ Windows Open

I have OCD with my sense of smell, everything stinks, or seems to have an unpleasant odor. (Huge props to Jerry for putting up with me). I buy stock in Glade air fresheners, Yankee candles, Febreeze, laundry detergent, you name it.

I put a dirty diaper in a plastic bag by the back door (ready to go out to the trash on my way to the car because I was leaving the house in a few minutes...) Ooops, I forgot to pick it up in the midst of getting Mariah out the door, carrying a diaper bag, my purse, another bag of goodies, and Ambria all in my left arm, leaving my right arm free to shut the door. We returned after THREE HOURS!!!

Darn it.

Telephone Conversation and a "Sad Lip"

Just a typical phone conversation, then throws the phone (hopefully this behavior won't continue into her teens), and screams for me to get it (hopefully this won't continue either). Oh, and I did get the phone for her and she didn't say please. I'll work on that.

Counting

Me: Ambria, let's count

Ambria: One, Two, Fee, Nose!

Me: (chuckling, not sure if she thinks nose comes after three or if she was just distracted and instantly decided to touch her nose)
Let's try again. Count.

Ambria: Un, Two, Fee, Fo

At least we got to Fo, but then she was distracted again and started running around like a wild woman.

What I Am Up To at 8:30pm

Here I sit again, in the quiet---reflecting, pondering, questioning.

The old cliche "a little peace and quiet will do you some good"---what if there is a lot of peace and quiet?

I learned to fall asleep with the television on.

I have also learned to "be still."

Fragmented, choppy, that is my thought process...

God is still good.

A Threat

I rented some free kids movies from the video store, which Mariah loved, but we had to return them...

Mariah: Mom, can we get some more movies?

Me: Umm, not today but maybe another day.

Mariah:(anger is growing in her voice as she thinks of a threat) MOM, IF YOU DON'T GET ME MORE MOVIES I WILL NEVER WATCH TV AGAIN!!

Me: Ok. It is a deal.

Mariah: NO DEAL.

For some reason I didn't think she would hold to her end of the deal. She didn't end up getting more movies, but she is watching tv right now.

Two Little Girls Praying

No Title. No Words

I'm not really sure what to write. Some days I have a lot on my mind and some days I can't even put two words together.

Right now, my mind is ---blank---.

I guess all I can do is blog about my surroundings, the physical, rather than the mental or emotional. The seen rather than the ---unseen---.

The girls are nestled all snug in their beds, the house is quiet, fragrant candles burn. Snow is falling outside, covering the already white ground with a fresh coat. My feet are chilled. I can hear the ticking of clock, ever so slowly. Toys are in their places, recently read books are upon the table. The baby dolls are fast a sleep. Good night baby girls.